A woman: my husband was bringing a Persian woman home and he was cheating on me

A woman: my husband was bringing a Persian woman home and he was cheating on me

(Sheren) is the fake name of the woman that loneliness sent her to Nina women’s shelter in Sweden; she talked about her miserable life 

A peaceful life 

She was born in (1986), she has lived in a city of the Kurdistan region, she was married and had two children.

Like she said: “I lived a peaceful and happy life before with my husband and 3 year old kid, but fate did not let us continue, he passed away while I was pregnant with my second kid who was born a few months after his father’s death”

After her husband’s death, as a common tradition the relatives of the husband asked her to marry her brother-in-law, but she did not agree.

(Sheren) said: “my husband’s family was telling me that I should marry my brother-in-law but I did not agree because I thought it is difficult to marry my brother-in-law, they continuously threatened  saying that they will take my kids away if I do not marry him”

She faced emotional struggle because of her husband’s loss, meanwhile they were threatening her with taking her kids away. (Sheren) met Abas on Facebook; he was born in 1986 and was living in Europe.

She said “ I met a guy on facebook who was living in Europe, I did not know he is a bad guy, I said he might be a good guy, he has been living in Europe for years, in fact he did not look bad at that time, he seemed like a nice guy”.

Day after day, their relationship deepened and they talk about marriage, Abas (the guy’s fake name) come back to Kurdistan and asks for Sheren’s hand following the norms.

“First time he came to see my father, he said I am ready to take her and her kids to Europe and live with them, that made me happy because I said my kids will stay with me and I will raise them and I will escape from threat and my fearful life”

“Let me finish“

That woman agreed to marry him, the marriage process was done in Kurdistan, and they both agreed to travel to Sweden.

(Sheren) says: “I thought I will settle down when I came to Europe, that’s why I got married and finished the paper works of me and my kids to travel, we came to Sweden, (Sigh!) let me finish the whole story, I am really upset..”

(Abas) had a problem with a Swedish woman before coming back to Kurdistan and marrying (Sheren), after Sheren’s marriage, the problem remained unsolved.

(Sheren) said: “when I came here I realized that my husband has an issue with a Swedish woman who had an affair with my husband before, the woman was coming to our house and she was threatening and disturbing us”.

The doubted cheats and plans 

The man, despite solving his problems, cheats on (Sheren) and stays away from her claiming there are threats on him.

“my husband told me you better travel with the kids, I am afraid that woman harms you and the kids, I agreed and traveled to a country for a while and I came back, after some time, he told me go visit your mom and dad, I traveled with my kids and saw my relatives in the third country, I did not know what he is planning to do, I thought her does because he loves me and wants me to travel to protect me and my kids”.

She claims that she felt that there is something about (Abas)’s behaviors “my subconscious felt there is something, or God wanted to expose this injustice” 

“I received a post”

Living far away from home, despite worrying about the future of her and the kids, Sheren reveals something about (Abas)’s cheating

“One day we received a post, I check it and I saw my name, my Swedish was not so good, I was studying language courses, I too the post to my school, a friend of mine knew Swedish better, she read it and said this is a case and you have been asked to go to the immigrants’ organization many times but you have not showed up”

This was her fist time seeing such posts which asks her to show up, Sheren asks what is the case “ I was surprised and frightened, I thought something bad might have happened. I went to the organization, they brought me an interpreter, they said we have asked to see you since a long time ago. We were worried about you and your kids”.

At the immigrants’ organization, they tell (Sheren) the truth “they told me that my husband is taking drugs and he is addicted, I was so upset and started crying, I felt pity for myself and the kids, living alone in exile with two kids! What happened to me, I went back home and everything revealed”.

Despite knowing the truth, (Sheren) helplessly took the way home and had to sacrifice and live that life with (Abas) for the sake of her and the kids’ future, as he was a drug addict and she was  “helpless and did not have anyone” as she says. 

Hell

The life of (Sheren and Abas) was falling apart, the happy life that Sheren was dreaming of far from her ex-husband’s family turned into a nightmare and despite daily intimidation, she faced mental and physical torture.

“I was not sleeping the whole night, I was afraid he might do something bad to my kids” (Sheren) burst into tears and said “despite all these, she cheated on me in front of me and my kids’ eyes; she was bringing a Persian woman home every night. One night after hitting and intimidation, he kicked us out of the house, I did not have a place to go, I went to my friend’s house who I met at school and stayed for a week”.

The week passed, a friend at school gave her the address of (Nina center for assisting the violence survivors), she went to the center and told them “I do not have any body and I cannot do anything, I don’t know the language, I do not have residence, I am lost”.

(Nina center) started to raise money to solve her problem by first finding a place for her and her kids.

The center is doing its best to solve her problem via the social institution, besides the support of police and other institutions, the solution to her problem is staying in that country, they have provided an advocate to monitor her condition.

Nina Center’s case in Sweden 

Rewritten by: Arsalan Rahman 

http://warvin.org/drejaE.aspx?=hewal&jmara=910&Jor=1